Friday, January 30, 2004
Paid all my bills..and not happy with what left..shrugged..emm..Dont want to think about money no more..
But last night was kinda fun..I met a few good men tru YM hmm..pathetic isn't it...at my age..im still searching for Mr. Right..whatever..
~o~o~o~
"Hey dad look at me.
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time...
Doing things I wanna do
But it hurts when you disapprove all along.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect"
Thursday, January 29, 2004
By; Sophie Kinsella
Current situation: Been 28 Days..I've Become An Miss independent a Miss-Alone-Now-That-I-don't-Have-Boyfriend
Sigh::::One thing I know for sure that I'm successful in executing one of my new year resolution...I was successful in terms of deleting my man out of my system..
Hell..It's the hardest things to do..And that's why I always failed in my attempt to do so..I really hope that this time its for real..Because the agony for the past 28 days..Is really drowning me...Though I don't cry..The cry that makes everyone notice that my system is just out of control..
There'll be days when I'm completely restless..Not knowing what to do..Weekends especially....I used to hang a round with him a lot..Shopping..Dining..Movies..I just don't know how I still survive..
The problem is I just don't want anybody else..To do that with me..Not even my closest female friends..And believe it or not..I'm taking this all alone...Not letting anyone dear to me knew that now I'm single again..
I am really lost..I don't know to whom I should turn to..to pour out my heart..The only people I trust to talk bout my thoughts is him...I trust nobody with my secrets except him..I am really NUMB
The worst part is I really miss the night chat that we had just before I close my eyes...And dreams happily..I just want it be him in the end of the line..Listening to me..
There goes all the happy days..My phone has stop ringing...No more weekends which means I would hardly meet my mates..No more visitor late at night..Nobody to get into fight with..Nobody to spoil..Whammy..This is killing me...
Somehow I felt my system is cheating on me..Before I went into this phase..It was like..Hell ya!!!!!!..U are much better without him..But given the situation now..Everything seems so...Deserted..Frozen..Gloomy..Lifeless..I'm not crushing..Hopefully...........
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Well I guess it's not too late to welcome the year 2004....And my resolution for 2004 are..
a. To save money on monthly basis..at least 100
b. To spend less on unnecessary things
c. To be a better person..than last year..hah..ha
d. To break up with my boyfriend if he didin't ask my hand for marriage this year
e. If (d) happens..then..I might be thinking of furthering my studies overseas..uk sounds nice..maybe australia..I figure that out later
f. To go travelling as often as I could
g. To work harder and more serious..compared to last year..
h. To workout my body..so I will maintained what ever the shape I'm now
Well so much for..all those stuff..I just hope I can keep up my resolutions...muahahahh...
Emm..I really got to figure out bout my love live..people said that if u love somebody..set him free..if it comes back to you..then u were meant to be...but if not..than just let go..
I just can't be pretty sure if he was meant for me..we had been together for quite number of years..basically i'm head over toe i love wit him..but I think he just love me less now..maybe he's falling out of love..it's not hot anymore like once we used to be...but I can be sure that we are really comfortable in each other company..that makes it hard for both of us not to see each other..in other words go on our own way..(break off)
Duh..life is beatiful..that's what I always said to my self..though sometimes what comes may seems so dull..or terrifying..all I know that I wll never back off..but to enjoy life to the fullest each day that I live..
"My love for you is a journey; Starting at forever, And ending at never"
~Anonymous~
